Just a Mom

Since I can remember my highest aspiration has been to be a wife and mother. Yes, there were times when I was young that I pretended to be a teacher...even a lawyer....but most of the time I was very happy dressing my cabbage patch dolls, giving them chores, making their beds, etc.. Throughout my life I have had people question my choice to be a stay-at-home Mom. I remember my high school counselor looking at me in disbelief when I explained to him that my greatest desire in life was to be a wife and mother. He stared at me and said "I didn't see you as that type...You have such potential." Since then I have had many critics and I admit, my feelings have been hurt a time or two. However, for the most part, I have not wavered from, what I feel, is my God given station in life.
I could spout off a lot of statistics about the importance of a Mom being home with her children, especially in the first three years, but ultimately that isn't why I choose to be an at-home Mommy. I believe that God has given each of us a purpose in this life. If God gives you children, rear them with your whole mind, soul and strength. If He has given you the talents to be an engineer, the same thing applies. But I am dubious that He would ever ask us to be fully both at one time. There seems to be a perception among women my age that we will have enough time and energy to do and be everything — full-time wife, mother and career woman all rolled into one. I agree that God wants us to use and enjoy the talents He's given us, but He never promised us inexhaustible resources. He created us with limitations and only placed 24 hours in a day. We cannot expect to juggle all the hats and be the best we can be at all of them. The reality is that if I choose to be full-time in a career, my husband and kids will only have me part time.
I can guess what most people think when they find out about my lack of career aspirations. I think most of them would be surprised that I graduated from college with honors, as salutatorian of my class. And when they think of my future, they picture me in 10 years: dressed in sweats doing laundry for my boys; my degree collecting dust somewhere on a bookshelf; living in a one-income-sized home; driving a used minivan. They imagine my peers, however, utilizing their education to the fullest. They will maintain a measure of independence that's not inhibited by family life, thanks to daycare, public schools and extracurricular activities. They will naturally be rewarded with great financial and material gain — but at what cost to their spouses and children?
The Christian life is about sacrifices, giving up certain things for the sake of greater long—term benefits. I know there could be times of financial strain in my marriage. I know I might encounter tension with the majority of my married female peers because of my choice to stay at home. I know I have given up the right to a lot of personal time — there will be nights that I am itching to read a Nicholas Sparks novel in one sitting instead of reciting Pat the Bunny for the fiftieth time to the kids. I'm not saying that I derive pleasure from changing diapers and cleaning up burpy blankets. But its only by sacrifice that we understand what true love, commitment and maturity really mean. Jesus was the embodiment of this. Being a wife and mother forces you to look outside yourself to the needs of others. As soon as I decided to become a mother, my children became my career. What better way to utilize my time and talents (and my degree in Christian education)? And if my choice to stay at home with my children means I drive a beater car and shop at thrift stores for the rest of my life, so be it. Children don't know the difference between Goodwill and GAP. I certainly didn't.
There will always be women who scoff at me, who are disappointed because they think I let myself down. There will always be the people who sigh because I am not living up to their idea of potential. But I know what makes me happy and I'm slowly learning not to feel guilty about sharing it with people. Mothering is a career choice that is rarely respected. We should recognize and affirm women who choose to invest time in their children. The Bible is clear that sons and daughters are among the greatest blessings we will ever receive.
I think most people would acknowledge that their desire in this life is to create something beautiful and lasting. I want to create a beautiful and lasting marriage and rear children, which are the most exquisite and eternal creations we humans can take part in fashioning. Architects design buildings that will someday fall, programmers construct computer software that will eventually be outdated — but mothers cultivate souls that will never die. How wonderful to experience just an inkling of what God feels as our Father.
Ultimately, when I am old and I look at my wrinkled hands, I want to know that the creases came from years of playing music, reading books, helping others, and taking care of my family. But my greatest hope is that those lines will remind me most of hours spent washing my babies' and grandbabies' tummies, tucking them into bed and teaching them what I have learned.